I know I’m on a dark journey and have been for about 2 years. I have felt myself changing and hate being the person I am today. I start every day with knots in my stomach at the thought of what is going to be said by someone that day…as I know there is someone who will try and put me down or trip me up and enjoy watching me fail.It happens every day without fail…sometimes 3 or 4 times and I come home and cry every night, not being able to understand why people don’t like me and want to see me this way. I spend the whole evening churning these thoughts around my head and have difficulty sleeping (nightmares or just panicing about the next day). I wake up with knots in my stomach……..this is my existance and I don’t want to feel this way. I know it is rediculous and that it is impossible for everyone to be against someone all of the time…but I can’t stop the thoughts, stomach knots, heart pounding, crying and fearing the next day. At least I’m not alone hey!
